By EDITORIAL BOARD
Since the beginning of the year, campus has been abuzz with the notorious lacrosse team scooters. It didn’t take long for all the players zipping and ripping through the quads to become a bona fide phenomenon. Rumors spread like wildfire and students speculated wildly. This week The News-Letter uncovered the simple truth: Each player bought and assembled his own Razor Ecosmart Metro scooter, and the Editorial Board is supremely pleased about it. Here’s why:
First, the Editorial Board loves sports. Lacrosse is a beautiful game that requires a tremendous amount of team chemistry, and we believe that these scooters engender unity off the field. The simple act of each player acquiring a scooter is an act of unity within itself; now every time a player rides his scooter, he is bonding with the rest of his team. For every individual member to acquire a scooter in the first place is indicative of a strong team unification! Imagine how great it must feel to ride that Razor Ecosmart Metro scooter from class to class, high fiving your oncoming teammates. Imagine how players riding to practice in a tightly-packed scooter-squadron might be more mentally prepared to play as a team than a group of players slowly meandering their way to the Recreation Center on foot.
Second, the Editorial Board agreed that the men’s lacrosse team may have discovered something truly amazing, but why should they be the only student group on campus to reap the benefits of matching urban mobility vehicles? We could all benefit from the profound team-building effects of whipping through campus on a sidewalk-legal scooter. The News-Letter staff understands this, which is why we have been debating whether or not we want to all get Segway Gliders or Segway Commuters. Regardless of what the rest of the paper decides, the Editorial Board believes that either choice will improve the cohesion of our team. The Editorial Board would like to mention that no student group should judge any other based on the chosen model of its scooter. We’re all scooter schoolmates here.
Furthermore, when the weather begins to change, and it becomes uncomfortably cold, the Editorial Board believes that it would be preferable to bundle up and cruise to class on a scooter rather than slowly freeze while walking. The members of the Editorial Board have all endured the bitter Baltimore cold for far too long, and for this reason, regardless of student group affiliation, we advocate that all students buy themselves an urban mobility scooter. No one deserves to freeze during a long, slow walk to class. Just remember that these scooters are potentially dangerous. For all you early adopters out there, please remember to scoot safe and keep your fellow students in mind!